If you know what you want to do, then do it!

I have always known I want to help people and to work with young people. The more schooling I acquired, the more I realized just how many opportunities education offers. Sometime in the midst of college, I realized that I truly believe that education can save the world. I feel that the more you know about something, the less possible it is to have a problem with it. And if you know all about it and you still have a problem with it, then you must have some pretty good reason for it. That’s sort of the idea behind some of my save-the-world-stuff. Just to eliminate ignorance and create opportunity and advocacy for all.

I also knew though, that by the time I was done with college, I was done with school for a while. So I went into Social Work somewhat by chance. It turned out that I loved that too, because I was indeed working with young people and helping them. With Boys and Girls Aid, I had many amazing opportunities to work with a plethora of different kids. I even got to help create and initiate the first and only homeless shelter for youth in Washington County. About a year into that though, the shelter youth had changed from mostly homeless youth to mostly Behavioral Rehabilitation Service youth. It was grueling. And I got burnt out. By January 2008, I was ready to move on….

Between searching for jobs, I also did some research into grad schools. Unfortunately, I realized that Lewis & Clark’s program was the one I wanted to attend about a week too late. So I gave up the dream, at least for a while. A couple months later I got an amazing promotion to case manage a Transitional Living Program for young adults. I LOVED this job. It was not only the perfect job, but the youth in the program were allowed to stay in service for up to two years, so I was able to build really close, amazing relationships with them. At the shelter, it felt as though by the time I finally had a deep conversation with them was when I was driving them to court, and on their way to detention. But with the Transitional Living Program, not only would have weekly, or even daily amazing conversations, I was the sole person in their lives advocating for them and helping give them the tools they needed to create a life for themselves. It was so exciting.

Then, last summer, my best friend broke her back. Needless to say, it was a hard situation to work through. Her parents living in Colorado, it was up to us and her friends to take care of her. Her (at times, morphine-induced) sense of humor was amazing throughout the whole healing process. She had a name for all of her medical crap, like Bruce the back brace, and Cathy the catheter. Laughing through it somehow made it bearable for us all. By December, she walking around and having coffee dates with me just as we’d used to.

One day, we were having a conversation about dreams. The very day before she had broken her back, she had told me her five year plan, which included quitting her job, going to India, and working on some sort of self-sustaining farm for awhile. And the next day it all changed. In discussing this, and how amazing it is that all your plans just change sometimes due to things outside your own grasp, I mentioned grad school. “Guess I’m not going this year either”, I said. Hearing the tinge of lament in my voice, she basically reamed me. She said something along the lines of “Screw you, don’t just give up on or put off your dreams just because you didn’t get around to them. Make them happen.” It was an epiphany. With about two weeks until the deadline, I worked my butt off to apply to grad school.

The other kick in the butt that I had was from a co-worker, who is also in school for early elementary. She was telling me about her program, and I said something like, “that sounds so great! I’ve always wanted to be a teacher too!” She looked at me crossly. Being much older than I, she told me about how long it had taken her to finally settle on this career. She said, “Lani, if you know what you want to do, then do it!” I guess I had never thought of it that way before. But it was all history from there.

I am so happy now and have realized just in these past few weeks how much I enjoy being in school and learning. Almost every single thing we read about, though some of it makes me nervous, it all makes me so excited! I can’t wait to get in the classroom. I don’t really have as much actual classroom experience as many of my fellow cohorters do, but I have tons of experience with kids. And I love them. I shine whenever a child walks into the room. And I figure that’s a pretty good reason to surround myself with them.