Today's stop at the liquor store

My carpool stopped at the liquor store on the way home from school today. Wait, stop the stereotype. Despite popular opinion, we are not alcoholics, but it did seem we each had a need stock up. I even talked Aron into buying corn whiskey. Clearly, the recent over-indulgence of alcohol has nothing to do with being in graduate school.

BUT -- here's where I'm going with this: why do liquor stores have those turnstile things at the entry? I'm guessing it's some sort of state mandate. Walking through the turnstile and feeling trapped by metal railings made me start thinking. When I walked in with my group, I felt totally comfortable. However, when I separated and started my own search for ginger ale and club soda (I know, the heavy stuff), I started to feel a little watched by the guy at the cash register. Why did I have this feeling? Why did I only have it when I was alone? Did I look like I was over 21? Did my huge purse imply that I would stash something? Was I paranoid?

Eventually, I purchased my ginger ale and club soda and walked out of the store without incident. Obviously, I didn't steal anything. But, reflecting on the feeling I got in my stomach while walking around the liquor store leads me to the idea of privilege. I rarely feel profiled, but when I do, it's an awakening to what it must feel like for others who experience it more frequently.

As a person who experiences privilege much more often than not, I feel it is my obligation to use it in a positive way. It is not something to be ashamed of, as I have realized. On the other hand, it is definitely something of which I should be cognizant.

I look at my career in education as a road map with a certain route highlighted, which will be the path I take. Most of what one would see on this map, once completed, would be the path itself. What I want to be sure of, above all, is that privilege is not a roadblock for me, but rather something like a street sign, pointing me in a better direction each time I run into it. Maybe I'll meet the occasional turnstile, too.