Power and Privilege

I have so many thoughts on privilege and power, that I am having difficulty deciding where to begin. I know that I am privileged and that my life has been easier just because of the color of my skin. I enjoy studying social justice, privilege and power, because I was raised in a white, middle income suburb, and feel very isolated by the lack of diversity that I have had in my life. Beyond my local community, I have family members who live in their elitist, white bubbles and seem completely comfortable making racist comments, and I am terrified by the fact that I am related to them (I also have many wonderful family members). I know that their past experiences and current ignorant perspectives are not my fault, but it still makes me feel ashamed and frustrated. Fortunately these are family members that I only see a few times a year, but it is exhausting being around them. I can only sit and listen about their Lake Oswego garden parties and how upset they were that their bank hired a middle eastern looking woman, because they didn't feel safe giving her their money. I am repulsed by the fact that they whisper "black" when describing African American people, like it's shameful to be or to say. I can't sit their silently, making it appear that I agree with their comments, and I know that if I say the words that are flooding my head I will not be successful in engaging a productive conversation. I know that I am kept at a distance by some of my relatives because of my "liberal" beliefs. I have been an outsider because I voted for Obama, because I won't hold hands during their evangelical prayers, because I challenge their ideas about equality, and because I care about the environment and animals. Now that I am pursuing the profession of teaching I see even more prejudices surfacing, such as views on immigrant populations and their tax money. Needless to say, I keep the wine flowing during these lovely dinners.
Although I have felt welcome and comfortable in many situations throughout my life because of my skin color (shopping, school, walking down the street, driving, traveling, etc...), I have also felt angry and silenced because I am a woman. I know there has been progress in breaking the glass ceiling, but it is still very much there. I have dealt with pornography addiction with people in my life, so I am probably extra sensitive, but I hate the fact that women are objectified and exploited regularly in our mass media. I hate that sports are marketed toward men, by using women as sexual entertainment during time-outs and half time. I hate that I can't turn the TV on without seeing a Carl's Jr. advertisement with some woman in a bikini eating a messy burger and listening to some man's voice say "it's more than just a piece of meat." My anger as a woman is overwhelming enough, I don't even want to get into the offensiveness for the animals. I could go on and on and on.... Although I am privileged in many ways, I still feel isolated and detached from the society I live in. I try to stay positive and live a lifestyle that I believe in, but there are still many days that I wish I could run into the woods and never come out.
(PS. I know that many men are frustrated by male stereotypes and the marketing that is thrown in their faces. I don't in anyway want to sound like I am blaming all men. I think boys are wonderful)