Rian Wasn't Always So Big

Power is a heavy subject. Thinking about my position in society has caused an in-depth reflection of my life. Being a white male in this society has given me a lot of opportunities. I have been able to go to college, rent apartments, travel and do just about anything I can think of. The issue for me growing up wasn't if I would be able to do something, the issue was with so many options in life what would I do? This might sound like a trivial problem for someone with little to no options in life, but it has been something I have struggled with for a long time.

I think my parents realized to some extent the power structure and always told me how lucky we were. I have felt guilty, like many of us in class, about the privilege and opportunities I have been given. But there was a time when I was not so powerful. In elementary school I was teased and bullied relentlessly. This experience at first defeated me. But as I grew and began to become physically strong I felt my power increase. There came a point where I was too big and strong to tease. Coming from a place of ridicule I liked this feeling. I always feel empathy towards the downtrodden and marginalized people I meet. I would always defend women and people being teased, people that I intuitively knew had little power.

I think this is one of the reasons I chose teaching as a career. I've found a place that I have the opportunity to bring others up by using my inherited power. The issue in my mind is not THAT I have power, it is what I do with it that matters. I am a very laid back person, the only time I get angry is when others are being treated unfairly. I've been punched in the face and shrugged it off, and I've seen a girl get pushed to the ground by a man and lost my temper. I know I have a lot of power and privilege in our society and I'm going to use it to help as many people as I can.