I'm Going to Get into Trouble One of These Days

Today's post is about the trouble I have with parents. Not all parents, mind you -- just the bad ones. Ah, I cannot even call them bad parents, because that is putting a value onto someone that I don't really know, but it is a bit difficult to not judge someone by how they treat their children. I noticed it at the zoo, and I notice it with my rude neighbors that are constantly yelling at their 3 year old. How can someone who cares so deeply about children keep her mouth shut when it comes to someone else's damaging child-rearing practices?

Case in point, this last year, I read with a 2nd grader in the SMART program. She was a sweet, smart little girl, who loved to talk about animals and science, and even though she didn't like to read herself, she was became more and more excited about reading throughout our seven months together. We really liked books in which there were other "roles" for her to join in, and I thought to myself, if only I had more time with her. Now, it is true that I would have loved to have been her teacher and have her for six hours a day, but the real problem for this child was that her mother never brought her to school. This child was so inquisitive and open to learning, but the more I learned about her home situation, I found out that mom simply didn't wake up in time to get her to school every day. Absolutely heart-breaking, and I really worried about this child's future in school. She was always behind the other children and through no fault or failure of her own. Her mom just didn't bother.

What can I as a teacher do in the face of something like that? Some days, this girl and I would just talk, and at times she let me in on things she usually prefaced by saying she shouldn't tell me this, but... Neglect is abuse, right? Of course, I was just a volunteer "reading buddy", so I was in no position to do anything. And it was her teacher that told me about the situation, so I know that the school was aware. Still, I took this little girl's problems home with me every Thursday, and many of those Thursdays I didn't even see her.

Now, I have no problem taking on someone else's pain. It's kind of my thing, since I am not as big into the whole intrapersonal thing as I am into interpersonal relations. A lot of that has to do with my views that it is a little selfish to dwell on myself, and whether that has hindered or harmed me -- whatever. I do take on the struggles of others (if I didn't, I don't think that teaching would be such a great idea for me), and that is just my thing. But the larger question is, when do you know when a problem is bigger than the child's capacity to deal with it, or when is a child in serious trouble and what can/should I do about it? When does a teacher step in? Could I cause more trouble for the child by telling their "secret"? Or is it absolutely imperative to step in as a professional educator because if we don't, who else will?

Sorry to bring up such a depressing topic. I think I get too serious when I am overworked ;)